SURE-FIRE SOLUTION FOR OUR ECONOMY

Hey, you working mom. Hey, you university student. Hey, you laid-off factory people and you small business owners and you folks that shop at Super Walmart. Hey, you taxi drivers and waitresses and independent architects and service providers and small organic farmers and people on welfare and people needing help with your medical expenses...

Let's quit being so damned selfish and admit it; all those warm and fuzzy human services we are begging for are much too expensive.

Let's face it; protesting in the winter air against the destruction of collective bargaining costs far too much money. First, it costs every person money and time to get there, and be out there, on the street. It costs for police and National Guard to oversee these demonstrations. It slows the wheels of production and the business of the economy. It disturbs the deliberations of our legislatures and wastes the time of our governors.

If we quit being so damned selfish and rolled over, it would save the time and effort of every conservative whose primary aim is to balance the budget and save the sacred economy.

If we slashed education. If we closed down community health centers. If we disposed of women's shelters we would be doing much to save the economy.

And truth and full disclosure in labeling? What a foolish and selfish demand. Forget Beatrice Foods and the meat-packers past crimes. Nowadays the government sees to it that the food we get is safe and nutritious.

Let's face it, all that money spent on Social Security, for example, could be much better spent for another bomb, for ammunition and more agile and faster fighter jets in foreign lands to defend our way of life, and for better surveillance instruments here at home. Besides, old people are no longer productive; they don't work and they've already reproduced. They require caretakers who could be serving in other ways. It would be far cheaper and more humane just to let them die quietly. And besides, the way social security is set up, the financial forces of our great country will not make money until the system is privatized properly.

And what is it with all these demands for better pay and more benefits, benefits, benefits? Haven't you noticed that as the cost of living has risen and your pay stayed at the same level for years now, that you got along just fine? Many Americans are fat because they just eat too much. By setting aside your greed and selfishness and eating smaller meals our economy can get back on track.

Veterans benefits! Goodness! Where will it end? We patched them up on the battlefield and brought them home and now we have to butter them with health care for what may be the rest of their lives? They are no longer of service to America, so why should America serve them? It's just selfishness on their part.

Let's get it straight people; if you weren't so selfish and put forth some self-sacrifice for a change, the economy — the sacred cow to which we all owe so much — could be pumped back up.

Let's face it, it costs the wise judges of the Supreme Court headaches to rule in favor of the very expensive patents of a company like the majestic Monsanto over the puling demands of so many little farmers who've dedicated far less money to produce their own strains of soybeans or alfalfa. Those farmers do not realize that Monsanto will save them the money they would have had to spend to save their own seed year after year after year...

Let's face it, powerful and wise legislators must, time after time, overturn our foolish and over-eager initiatives. This costs time and effort. As though we knew what was good for us...

While we're at it, let's just get out of the way and admit that democracy is a noble ideal impossible to really attain and just too expensive to maintain. Democracy is just too expensive.

DEMOCRACY IS NOT GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY.